Sewing for Baby

Seeing as I never post pictures on this blog (now I remember why, they take forever to upload), I thought I would take a break from my regular posts and show my projects for baby! 

 Some swaddling/receiving blankets. There's a third muslin one (which is really gauze...I don't know why on earth they call them muslin swaddle blankets) that's dark brown but it's being washed. My mom bought me the cute fabric on the right. That heart decorative stitch took soooo long and tons of thread. I was so happy to have that finished!

 A little swaddling thing. I fell in LOVE with this fabric. I knew I had to make something with it.

 Burp cloths with leftover scraps. I made a carseat cover with the minky but it's in Mathew's car (all prepped for the ride home after delivery!!!). I guess it will get it's own post sometime.

 More scrap burp cloths. Below is the back of the burp cloth that's on the left.

 Diaper strap. Pinned this on Pinterest months ago and finally made it!

 Sleep Sack. I bought this fabric years ago and finally found a use for it. Sorry about the sideways shot, I promise these last two were flipped before I uploaded them.

 Nursing cover! With a convenient little pocket (bottom right). Not sure what it's for, but I'm sure I will find out haha.

 Okay, this is an old project. It was my very first attempt at free-motion quilting. I made it in a home decor class two years ago. It got me hooked on free-motion. And of course wonderfully soft minky on the back. :)

 Lucky I chose a girly fabric!

And finally, the completed cross stitch bear quilt. I can happily say that this one did NOT take me 8 years like the boy version. I finished this back in January but kept forgetting to take a picture of it.

 Super bummed that I accidentally chose a thread that was too light to quilt with so you can't really see all the hard work, but oh well. 

I stippled most of it because I didn't want too much distraction from the bears, but in that skinny flower border in the pic just above this one, I did hearts to add a little variety. 

Feeling Humbled

I don't know how many people saw my post a while ago about the doctor who basically made me feel like the biggest failure because I had gained too much weight. Well, if you didn't see it, I'm sorry I can't link back because I accidentally deleted it, but pretty much at 31 weeks I was lectured about how I was gaining too much weight and I couldn't gain any more and I was putting myself at risk for a c-section and giving my baby diabetes. It was a horrifying appointment and I had never felt worse about myself.

Well after a long day of crying and feeling crappy, I decided to make a commitment to be healthier. I figured I would eat healthy and probably still gain weight and so he would just have to deal and accept that my body just puts on more weight than average during pregnancy. I didn't think I was doing THAT bad. I really just thought I was someone who naturally had more weight gain. I thought he was just being a butt-head doctor who only focused on averages and didn't realize that everyone is different and it's okay to gain a little extra weight. I still think he handled the situation terribly and could have been much nicer and gentle with me...but I'm kind of grateful that I received a reality check. Here I am 8 weeks later and instead of gaining the extra 12 pounds that I was on track to gain, I am up 1. Instead of measuring 3 weeks ahead like I was at 31 weeks, I have been measuring right on track at every appointment. I feel so much better at 39 weeks than I did at 29. I don't feel like I'm miserable and ready to be done being pregnant. Granted, I am anxious to be done to meet my baby girl, but my anxiousness has nothing to do with being uncomfortable. I haven't had any major swelling that I hear happens the last few weeks either. Sometimes I feel like my face looks chubby, but maybe it's in my head. I'm just happy my ankles and fingers have managed to stay looking normal.

I thought for sure it wouldn't be healthy for me to worry about calories and start a walking routine everyday. I was convinced that it was a bad time to change things. I was too far along! It wasn't smart to try to restrict my diet. Well, I was wrong. Completely wrong. Those changes were exactly what I needed. I can't imagine how different I would be feeling right now if that doctor hadn't spoken up and given me the hard truth. I have avoided him every single appointment since then, so I have no idea what other things he would have said to me. I have no interest in his opinion or feedback on how I'm doing. I know that I have bettered my health and done what is right for my body and for the baby. And the other two doctors have only had good things to say. So THERE mean doctor! :)

Anyways, I just wanted to acknowledge that this doctor may have been completely rude to me but the end result was positive and I'm grateful and humbled by that.

Lastly, if anyone cares, last week I was dilated to a 2 and 60% effaced. Got checked again today and no additional progress. Boo. Maybe the full moon will work its magic on me tomorrow. I'm just really hoping I don't have to get induced. The more I have read and prepared for birth, the more I really want to be able to have this baby without medication. It just feels right and I'm scared an induction will make that nearly impossible. Pray that this baby decides to come on her own!

A Major Blessing

A miracle happened today; a major answer to prayers and worries. I got a job. We are going to have an income (very small but incredibly helpful).

We saved and saved for little baby Williams. We put away as much as we could when we were working in Utah, knowing that the expenses were going to come crashing down on us, just as the income stopped. Well, they crashed a bit harder and faster than we anticipated. Doctors bills kept coming from Utah, we had to start purchasing things for baby, and the car kept having issues, over and over again until finally it just had to sit in the garage for a while (we definitely learned how to rely on each other a lot more when this happened). This car has been our biggest headache in our marriage, but we are grateful to have two vehicles and so we hang on to it, with hopes that one day soon, we will have a steady income and therefore can make payments on a new car. So, after carefully planning our budget, thinking we were just barely going to make it, we were hit with $300 in car repairs...then once that was paid for, the car broke again, and we were hit with another $200. Not so big of a deal when you have an income, but when you don't, that sure drains savings fast. Anyways, with a little help, we were able to get those things taken care of and we were back on track to just squeaking by. (p.s. the breaking car was NOT my little '95 Ford Escort that I've had since high school. Shout out to my awesome car Stella, still going strong) We are on a very strict budget, living only off of what Mathew makes donating plasma twice a week. He's really dedicated. I help a little by teaching a few piano and sewing lessons. We also pay cash only now. It's been a great change for us.

Today, though, I gained new hope that we really will be okay. I have been checking craigslist off and on since we moved back, looking for a pregnant friendly job. After we had been here for a month, I pretty much gave up. The closer my due date came, the less likely I felt it was for me to get hired somewhere. Then, on a whim Monday, I was looking at jobs on craigslist and I see the most encouraging post title: "Part Time/At Home Secretarial". It seemed a little too good to be true, and being 37 weeks I figured I didn't have a chance anyways so I ignored it. For about 60 seconds. I debated whether or not to send my resume. I knew if I got an interview I'd show up with a giant belly and have to explain and defend myself. But something pushed me to apply. I felt very strongly that this would be a good fit for me and that I needed to at least try. So I did, and a little over an hour later, I had an interview set up for today.

Tuesday night, I got an email from the guy that said he needed to change my interview time to a little later in the day, which was totally fine with me, so I accepted. I waited all day Wednesday for a confirmation that I still had my interview and information about where to go. Nothing. I was so worked up. This morning, I still hadn't heard anything and I could not figure out what to do. I just kept telling myself to have faith and trust that it would all be okay. Sure enough, a little later, I received the much-anticipated email, the interview was still on. I continued prepping for my interview and on my way there, I just was so nervous. I wanted the job so bad and I was worried he would instantly turn me down since I am due so soon.

Well, turns out, this guy is a huge supporter of families and having employees with kids. His fifth kid is due in July. He had absolutely no problem with my pregnancy. He only had positive things to say about it. I kind of stumbled through the interview. I am definitely out of practice, but when it was all over, he offered me the job on the spot. He had so many nice and complimentary things to say about me and I think I could have just jumped for joy. 

So, now that I have written a complete novel, here is what the actual job is. I get to stay home and answer the phone, make phone calls, and schedule appointments. I will only be working a few hours a day, but it's completely perfect. It's low key enough that I really feel like I will be able to handle it after the baby is here. Everything about the job is perfect. I have always liked doing secretarial type work, and so to be able to do it and stay home with my baby is the biggest blessing. We are going to be able to take care of Ellie now. Plasma money was doing fine to feed us and get Mathew to school, but we wouldn't be able to buy diapers, and clothes, and everything else that's needed for a baby. Now we can. It will still be tight, but it's doable. I truly believe that this miracle came from paying our tithing. Even though I have been scared and unsure of how we were going to survive, I always knew we would somehow because we were paying our tithing. I admit that I had my doubts when the car kept having problems. I kept thinking, WHY is this happening when we are paying our tithing?! We are supposed to be getting blessings! I was quickly straightened out by Mathew and immediately had to repent for my murmuring, but I still was so confused. I tried so hard to be patient and trust that something good would happen and it did. I am so thankful and I can't wait to start working.

You Might Laugh...

Or you might be totally grossed out by this post. I hope you laugh. It took me a while to calm down and laugh myself but the laughter did come eventually. Part of me doesn't really know why I am willing to put this on the blogosphere, but the other part feels like it might make it less horrifying and even more comical. I think the second part is crazy but that's the part I am listening to.

I went for my walk today around one o'clock. I was ecstatic that it was less windy and that I was able to walk outside again. About an hour before I left, I ate some lunch and continued to drink water so I wouldn't be crampy during the walk. I started out feeling really good, aside from the fact that it was windier and more chilly than I was expecting. I got about half way through my walk (my route is 1.5 miles total) when I realized I had to go to the bathroom. No big deal, it usually happens when I'm walking so I wasn't concerned, and I just kept going, not that I had a choice. Our neighborhood isn't a circle, it's like a big U shape, so I have to follow the whole route back home, I can't cut across anywhere.

As I was heading back, I passed a couple houses of people I knew and strongly considered stopping to ask to use their bathroom, but I decided that would be too embarrassing and I could hold it until I got home. I started walking a little faster, but that only made my Braxton Hicks even worse, which did not help my ability to hold it, so I slowed down again. By the time I turned the last corner, I knew I was in trouble. Our house is only the third one down, so I picked up the pace again, almost turning it into a jog, just hoping and praying I would make it home. I had quite the hip swing going as I was trying to keep my legs closed by this point. I thought maybe if I called someone, it would take my mind off of the incredible urge. Didn't work. This person didn't answer and as I was putting my phone back in my pocket, the urge to pee hit me hard. I was not going to make it home. I was at the front of my neighbor's house, probably 10 feet from the edge of our yard. So close, but definitely too far to mean anything. I stopped to try and make a conscious effort to stop my bladder from releasing. I tried really hard, but within 2 seconds, I was peeing. Nothing I did could stop it. I just stood there and peed. I couldn't believe it was happening. I looked down and saw a puddle in the road and my soaked pants and was completely horrified. I WAS PEEING MY PANTS IN FRONT OF MY NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE!!!!

I think at this moment, I really realized I am 37 weeks pregnant. I have a baby pushing on my bladder. I have no bladder control anymore. I am going to be the mom that crosses her legs when she laughs or coughs or sneezes to keep from peeing. Well, as soon as my bladder had decided it was done, I sprinted across my lawn to our door. I didn't think I was capable of running at all at this point in my pregnancy, let alone being able to sprint with soaked pants...but with enough adrenaline, it can be done.

I still can't believe it happened. I can't believe I majorly peed my pants in front of someone else's house. I immediately threw my clothes in the wash and took pretty much the longest shower I've ever taken. All the while, trying to accept the events that just took place. I hope no one saw, but if they did, I hope they got a good laugh, or just thought my water decided to explode/break. Oh my gosh, I peed my pants and now I'm telling everyone. What the heck has happened to me?

Nesting?

I had an epiphany a couple of weeks ago. I was racking my brain trying to figure out why I was so sad and gloomy all the time. Then it hit me...I'm NESTING but I can't actually nest!! I want to prepare for this baby but I don't have anything to do about it! I don't have a nursery to decorate/organize, clothes to wash and get ready, money to buy fabric to make anything for her, extra money to stock up on food, etc. I know a lot of women deep clean when they start to nest, but it's kind of difficult when you're in a house furnished with other people's stuff, especially when that stuff is very unique and fragile. I don't want to touch anything! They have traveled the world and their decor has been brought from all over, so the last thing I want to do is start moving things around and messing with the priceless gems.

Even though I haven't been able to fully satisfy my nesting need, it was really nice to identify where the depression was coming from. Now I just remind myself that hopefully after my shower, I will be able to dive into baby prep a little bit more. On Sunday, we went to my parent's house for Easter. My mom and I worked really hard after church to get all the cooking/baking done. It was the first time I completely enjoyed baking and being on my feet for that long. I think I got a little pent-up energy out. It felt really good!

Also, I am ecstatic that spring seems to finally be making its arrival! I went for my walk outside today and it put me in the BEST mood! I have never been more anxious for spring. It felt like it would never come! I think I might even find a nice place outside to read my book today.

Finally, I noticed I got quite a few visits to my blog after I posted my food post and then removed it. I got a little embarrassed and shy after I posted, but if you'd like to know what it said, I have copied and pasted it below.

"With just over a month left (less than a month now!), I am starting to look forward to eating some food I sure have missed. Here is what I plan on eating absolutely as soon as possible after Ellie arrives.

1. Rare Steak. I really don't like fully cooked steak, but it's better than nothing.

2. Deli Sandwich. I have never really LOVED deli meat but oh man, I saw a deli sandwich at the grocery store yesterday and my mouth seriously started to water.

3. Hot Dogs!!!!!! At least the cheap kind. I'm tired of having to buy the expensive nitrate free dogs, even though they are incredibly delicious.

4. Pepperoni Pizza, oh how I have missed you. Plain cheese is just not as satisfying.

5. Brie. I want brie so bad!

6. Bacon, bacon, and more bacon. Specifically the bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit from McDonald's. Oh my I hate to admit that is like my favorite breakfast sandwich ever.

7. Lots of chocolate, darn stuff has started giving me heartburn!

Alright, that list seemed WAY longer in my head. Now it almost seems silly to post, but oh well. :)"

I would like to add that I know that some women still eat a lot of the foods on this list. However, I still avoid them after doing my own research and deciding that the risk (even if very minimal) is just not worth the added worry. I am also adding cookie dough to the list. I got an overwhelming craving to eat a huge chunk of dough when I was making sugar cookies on Sunday. It was so hard to not give in!